Mothers and Babies
Today started off on a wrong note - I left the house without coffee. Then was caught in traffic, which made me late for a meeting, which then continued at a frenetic pace with a lot of "thinking" type things to do. By the time 4 pm rolled around, a little mind-break was in order...
So I went down to the lobby patio where I work, and watched well-to-do "tai tai"s (slang word for "ladies") with their kids and their nannies enjoy the breezy weather today. As I sat there watching child and nanny and mother, I was reminded of what happened on a recent flight from Singapore to Hong Kong.
I was seated in the middle section, two empty seats between me and a man. One woman sat behind him, with one son; another woman sat on the other block of seats by the window, with his daughter. Both kids were toddlers. When I sat down, it was with a sinking heart because I really was not looking forward to screaming kids pounding on their tray tables which were attached to my seat back.
I was not wrong - between the two kids, there were stomach upset, tantrums, alarm over the sounds from the airplane, noisy fascination at other passengers' seat belts, etc. There was plenty of tumbling down the aisles, a lot of passengers gritting their teeth, and flight attendants going "oh, so cuuuuuuuute!".
Eventually the tantrums boiled over and one toddler started crying, and the other caught on to add to the cacophony. The woman sitting behind was quite zen and kept her head buried in her reading material, occasionally glancing over at the squirming and sobbing boy who was trying to get into the front into his daddy's embrace. The other woman was very hassled and kept trying rub the back of the screaming girl who was also trying to get into daddy's embrace.
I was seated 2 seats away from Daddy. I kept my eyes closed, headset glued to my ears and kept repeating to myself, "woooooo--saaaah". Even when Hassled Woman had to take the girl to the restroom for a diaper change, by walking OVER me to get to the restroom on THIS side of the airplane. Then she tried to calm the kid down, who refused to sit by her side and wanted to go to Daddy, who was already trying to comfort the boy. Between the crying and whining and Daddy scolding, the seat belt sign came on, and we were on the descent into Chek Lap Kok airport.
Flight attendants ran up to the little family in a panic, "Please sir, your children must be seated while we are approaching." to which the girl responded with a resounding wail and buried her head in her dad's lap, while the boy threw up on the headrest next to mine, causing the Hassled Woman to go into a mild hysteria. The Flight Attendant stood there wringing her hands. Daddy turned around and barked at the woman sitting behind, still with her head in the reading material. "Can you please take him and calm him down!"
But the Flight Attendant wouldn't let her get up from her seat. Another argument ensued over my head, which I desperately tried to ignore. Somewhere between all of this, we touched down and landed in Hong Kong.
When the plane came to a complete stop, I leapt out of my seat desperate to get away from this family. But my luck being what it is, when I got out of the plane, this little family was already off the jetway. Perhaps now that we're not all cramped in a flying tin can, I was more disposed towards being charitable to the kids and I would actually HEAR what they were trying to babble.
"Mommy, mommy" they called to the Zen Woman who had her head buried in a magazine the entire 3 hours and 45 minutes of flying-with-kids-hell. They run headlong towards her, while she wheels her duty free shopping in a little trolley away from them, her eyes fixed on the Estee Lauder Travel Special 10 gates down the corridor.
Hassled Woman runs after the kids, calling after them in a now-obvious Filipino accent, and catches them one in each arm, before they crash into Mommy's duty free shopping trolley. She lifts them up while a sweaty lock of hair falls into her eyes, and as I walked past her, the universal smell of childcare reached my nose.
That mix of baby powder, sour milk, sweat, care and love suddenly made my heart ache. I felt incredible sadness for these 2 kids who were raised by their nanny rather than their mother. I imagined that I was barely 3 feet tall and I am running after that well-dressed beautiful woman whom I thought was my closest and dearest adult but I can't catch up. And as she becomes smaller and smaller in my sights, I feel a strong, dark and comfortable arm snake around my belly and I am picked up and hugged in another's embrace whom I know so well. Another's voice which I hear first thing in the morning and last thing at night, telling me stop running into things without looking.
As an adult, I remember that I've just had at least 6 friends have babies in the past 4-5 months. I hope they realize the blessings they have been given, and I wish with all my heart that they would, even at their worst moments, be Hassled Woman and never Zen Woman.
So I went down to the lobby patio where I work, and watched well-to-do "tai tai"s (slang word for "ladies") with their kids and their nannies enjoy the breezy weather today. As I sat there watching child and nanny and mother, I was reminded of what happened on a recent flight from Singapore to Hong Kong.
I was seated in the middle section, two empty seats between me and a man. One woman sat behind him, with one son; another woman sat on the other block of seats by the window, with his daughter. Both kids were toddlers. When I sat down, it was with a sinking heart because I really was not looking forward to screaming kids pounding on their tray tables which were attached to my seat back.
I was not wrong - between the two kids, there were stomach upset, tantrums, alarm over the sounds from the airplane, noisy fascination at other passengers' seat belts, etc. There was plenty of tumbling down the aisles, a lot of passengers gritting their teeth, and flight attendants going "oh, so cuuuuuuuute!".
Eventually the tantrums boiled over and one toddler started crying, and the other caught on to add to the cacophony. The woman sitting behind was quite zen and kept her head buried in her reading material, occasionally glancing over at the squirming and sobbing boy who was trying to get into the front into his daddy's embrace. The other woman was very hassled and kept trying rub the back of the screaming girl who was also trying to get into daddy's embrace.
I was seated 2 seats away from Daddy. I kept my eyes closed, headset glued to my ears and kept repeating to myself, "woooooo--saaaah". Even when Hassled Woman had to take the girl to the restroom for a diaper change, by walking OVER me to get to the restroom on THIS side of the airplane. Then she tried to calm the kid down, who refused to sit by her side and wanted to go to Daddy, who was already trying to comfort the boy. Between the crying and whining and Daddy scolding, the seat belt sign came on, and we were on the descent into Chek Lap Kok airport.
Flight attendants ran up to the little family in a panic, "Please sir, your children must be seated while we are approaching." to which the girl responded with a resounding wail and buried her head in her dad's lap, while the boy threw up on the headrest next to mine, causing the Hassled Woman to go into a mild hysteria. The Flight Attendant stood there wringing her hands. Daddy turned around and barked at the woman sitting behind, still with her head in the reading material. "Can you please take him and calm him down!"
But the Flight Attendant wouldn't let her get up from her seat. Another argument ensued over my head, which I desperately tried to ignore. Somewhere between all of this, we touched down and landed in Hong Kong.
When the plane came to a complete stop, I leapt out of my seat desperate to get away from this family. But my luck being what it is, when I got out of the plane, this little family was already off the jetway. Perhaps now that we're not all cramped in a flying tin can, I was more disposed towards being charitable to the kids and I would actually HEAR what they were trying to babble.
"Mommy, mommy" they called to the Zen Woman who had her head buried in a magazine the entire 3 hours and 45 minutes of flying-with-kids-hell. They run headlong towards her, while she wheels her duty free shopping in a little trolley away from them, her eyes fixed on the Estee Lauder Travel Special 10 gates down the corridor.
Hassled Woman runs after the kids, calling after them in a now-obvious Filipino accent, and catches them one in each arm, before they crash into Mommy's duty free shopping trolley. She lifts them up while a sweaty lock of hair falls into her eyes, and as I walked past her, the universal smell of childcare reached my nose.
That mix of baby powder, sour milk, sweat, care and love suddenly made my heart ache. I felt incredible sadness for these 2 kids who were raised by their nanny rather than their mother. I imagined that I was barely 3 feet tall and I am running after that well-dressed beautiful woman whom I thought was my closest and dearest adult but I can't catch up. And as she becomes smaller and smaller in my sights, I feel a strong, dark and comfortable arm snake around my belly and I am picked up and hugged in another's embrace whom I know so well. Another's voice which I hear first thing in the morning and last thing at night, telling me stop running into things without looking.
As an adult, I remember that I've just had at least 6 friends have babies in the past 4-5 months. I hope they realize the blessings they have been given, and I wish with all my heart that they would, even at their worst moments, be Hassled Woman and never Zen Woman.
posted by tygertyger at 11:50 PM
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